A relationship is an interaction and connection with another person.  I must know myself to be in a relationship with another.  Being in a couple relationship is the most challenging and can be the most meaningful relationship in our lives.  But for many reasons it is often very painful.

Individual people want different things in relationships. But we aren't always aware of what we want or haven't shared it, until something isn't working.

In couples therapy I ask you why you have come.  We explore what is happening in your life that is causing you discomfort and conflict in your relationship.  When the two people come together, I facilitate your sharing feelings and experiences with the other.  Often the therapy works best if each person sees me individually alone, alternating with sessions together.  In the sessions alone you can express what you feel about the situation you are having difficulty with which you do not yet feel safe enough to share with your partner. Listening to yourself and working with me, you can clarify what you really want to say to your partner.

Words have power – they can be devastating or powerfully connecting.  So it is important to get the words right for what you want to say.

Therapy is successful  - not by the outcome of remaining together – but by the respect, clarity and openness of the communication we can achieve about your desires and goals.  Often that openness leads to greater connection and valuing of what you have together.  But sometimes it becomes clear that you and your partner want different things and there is no resolution of those differences.

The respect and openness of your communication is especially important if you have children.  The process of ending a relationship is very difficult for children as well as the adults involved.  When two people can agree to co-parent in a respectful way, everyone benefits and the children become the first priority for the parents to work together toward their benefit.